Yesterday I drove myself to work, like I do many days. I was thinking about what a good day it was gonna be, how I was getting off work early in the afternoon, and I was going to see a lot of my out of town friends later in the evening who are in the area for Christmas, and how I have the whole upcoming week free to sit around and eat food and be showered with gifts.
When I got off the highway, I heard this song on the radio:
“Yeah,” I thought. “Blues Traveler always means it’s gonna be a good day.”
Then the car in front of me hit a squirrel that ran into the road.
I have never hit an animal in my car. I have hit several parked cars, but nothing living. I would like to keep it this way, ideally, if not forever then for as long as possible, because I have a PRETTY DELICATE PSYCHE.
This squirrel did not die immediately. He got it right in the shoulder area, which flattened out entirely. He spun around a little bit while horizontal, like a small and furry and terrible Moe from the Three Stooges. He started to gush a little bit.
The whole thing was gross, and not only that, it raised a Question.
WHAT IS THE ETIQUETTE THERE? I had time to swerve, and I did, because 8 years of driving experience has taught me pretty well that if it’s breathing, EVEN LABORIOUSLY, you steer away from it. But then I started thinking, should I have gone for it? The little dude obviously did not die immediately, but even as an untrained civilian with no particular rodent expertise, I could tell he was not long for this mortal plane.
So maybe I should have hit him? Tried to aim for his tiny suffering head??? It probably wouldn’t have made anything WORSE, and possibly could have just put him out of his misery. IS THAT THE KINDER THING? I don’t know. I don’t know much about anything when it comes to Big Life Issues like Euthanasia and Doing The Right Thing and Making Quick Judgment Calls, I guess.
But I’m still wondering if I behaved adequately and did right by this squirrel. I guess this exact scenario will probably never arise so I don’t know why I’m so focused on WHETHER I DID THE RIGHT THING!!! since I will probably never have to decide whether or not to mercy kill a squirrel again. Possibly I am just focusing way too much on hindsight and ethics and all those other big dumb things that gum up the mental processes and distract from important issues like “I wonder if 17 Again starring Zac Efron is on instant watch?”
IT’S ALL ONE BIG MYSTERY OF LIFE, I GUESS. WE DO THE BEST WE CAN AND HOPE IT WAS OKAY. And then we worry WAS IT OKAY??? WHO CAN TELL. No one’s keeping score, probably, but it still feels like it sometimes anyway.
Shitty Christmas for that squirrel, also.
Tags: death metal
