Remember how my last post was about tv? GUESS WHAT, THIS ONE IS TOO.
I am in mourning, Internet. I am in mourning because I have lost my best friend. I watched the season finale of Boardwalk Empire this morning and I am feeling a whole fuckin’ shit ton of emotions. Like, the whole danged gamut of feelings that a person can feel. ALL OF THEM. I HAVE FELT THEM ALL.
First of all, WHAT IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY TIME UNTIL NEXT SEPTEMBER? What’s even the point of shuffling along on this stupid mortal coil if I can’t watch a new episode every week? I fully anticipate experiencing a complete mental breakdown and picking up terrifying new hobbies like making miniature versions of the cast out of my own hair.
And — AND I AM GOING TO SPIT SOME SPOILERS HERE SO IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FINALE PLEASE DON’T READ THIS OR IF YOU DO JUST DON’T HOLLER AT ME — not only did they take my favorite show away temporarily, THEY TOOK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER WITH THEM. PERMANENTLY. AS IN, THEY KILLED HIM.
Killed him until he was dead!!!
Like, ok, I get it. I “get” why you chose to kill Jimmy, guys (I am assuming the producers of Boardwalk Empire are avid readers of my brilliant blog). I understand it obliquely and theoretically the way I obliquely and theoretically understand that I probably shouldn’t eat a whole pizza in one sitting and that a pile of money doesn’t appear in my bedroom every morning. But THAT DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO LIKE IT. OR EVEN ACCEPT IT.
Jimmy was the best. Not least of all because of his face and his haircut and his look-at-me-I’m-not-wearing-a-shirt-again-ness. But EVEN REGARDLESS of how beautiful he was to look at, I just loved him. He was totally fucked up and not really nice very, but to be fair, that’s basically everyone on this show. At least he had a reallllll good reason to be fucked up and not always nice. What with the crazy mother and horrible father and war and shit and all of that.
But on the other hand, he totally COULD be nice too. He loved the SHIT out of Angela, and his kid, and even his mom in a horrible, emotionally-manipulated way that I don’t really want to talk about. He tried his best, god dang it! And he was protective and funny and kind of a badass with his brass knuckles knife, and he was Richard’s best friend in the whole world. HE WAS THE GREATEST. Even when he was being a schmuck he was still the greatest. #1 in my heart forever.
Like, basically they could have killed anyone else in the show and that would have been preferable to me. Kill Eli! Kill Manny! Kill Gillian! Kill Margaret (begrudgingly, because I think she rules)! Kill her weirdo son Teddy! Kill Nucky, even! KILL EM ALL JUST LET ME HAVE JIMMY!
(Actually don’t kill Richard, though, I love him to a degree that is on par with my love for Jimmy. NOT THAT IT EVEN MATTERS THOUGH since I assume grief for his boyfriend will kill him in the first episode of next season anyway, since he loved Jimmy possibly just as much as I did).
And THE LAST SHOTS. When he’s standing there, facing Nucky! When he says “I died in the trenches!” When he flashes back to the war! When he gurgles his last beautiful gurgle! MY HEART BROKE INTO A MILLION BLACK POISONOUS SHARDS, INTERNET. I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN.
I don’t know what to do with myself now. I assume I am going to have to start wearing black all the time (ha ha ha, start). I will walk around somber and with my head hung, for there can be no merriment now. NO MERRIMENT. To demonstrate the depth of my emotions I have compiled several gifs:
Woe betide unto all of us, Internet, cuz we are about to get into some dark dang days around here.
